ah, saturday.

planned to study my sejarah. but..u know, study in front of the computer wont work. lol. lazeeeeeeeeeee. hmm. wish for the time to go faster. exam makes me feels stress.

let everything go, and starts my new day.

final exam~

mummy! I dont want to study anymore! :'(
gao meng ah~(cantonese)
next week! its next week already!
wtf! we can still playing like nothing going to happens..
study hard guys!

listening to zhang hui mei's songs. missing you. thinking about when can meet you again, i should say, can i still meet you? i really just dont understand why. am i scary or what? am i wrong to say i love you? or i miss you? but i really do. forget about it. fed up. and i am glad that, i am starting to hate you. maybe thats what you want, you want me to hate you and leave you alone. blablabla. giving me those stupid excuses. i hate it man. i told you before, if you dont like it, tell me. i will go away silently. you thought i am happy to do this? i just follow my feelings. now i am curious, why you changed so much? met the girl that can make you a good boy already? lol. shut up!

23rd October

eureen, thanks me. haha. i am really happy to see you wearing skirt, it looks good on you. and i am happy to be with you girls. you guys rocks! love you guys very much. we should plan to make a party next time. i am sure that it will be fun. cant sleep for so many nights, finally can sleep well with the help of carlsberg. i hope i can drunk, and forget about those annoying problems. feels so pressure. sigh  x100.

Its a big mistake.

In less than two weeks, it will be the 2009 final exam. Seriously, I am worried about my results. Hmm. No study or homeworks at home, my stupid habit. Thats the problem. People says: 本性难移. Its true. Sigh. LiLi oi~ What to do with you la~? In additional, my lappy is in my little room, and its just right beside of my bed. Gosh. I tried to lock this lappy in my mum's room before, but I get it back in 5 hours time. Sigh (again).
Exam exam. Failure failure.

Love things, complicted and nuisance. It makes me, lost. Cant get myself out of this. I like him. Aiks! Its time to study hard.

sick of my behaviour.

hmm. i am so emotional lately. think a lots, acted weird too. too many problems in me, family, a guy, school stuff, friends. felt so pressure. my room, is my world. lock myself in this little room, talk to myself, facebook, blogging. thats all. i am going to be crazy, very soon. argh!

14/10

这两天的情绪很不稳定，总觉得，好像全世界的人都和我有仇。今天在班上的态度好差，对朋友很没有礼貌，感到好抱歉。心情超烂，好像找人谈谈。好像打给他，可是我不能。刚刚上bio课，朋友问起我今天的态度，我真的好想讲，不过，连我自己都不知道为什么，怎么讲？我想，可能是因为家人吧。最近我都把那人的是摆在一边，不去想他，偶尔还是会想起他对我说过的话，但也还好，我已经习惯了。不知道为什么，最近，我感到好寂寞，突然好害怕，这种感觉，那就是一个人在家的感觉。以前，我都很喜欢的。自从妈开始作这直销，我就有着被遗忘的感觉。家里的人都好像忘了有我的存在。大哥整天呆在大嫂家里不回来，二哥已被爸爸赶出去了，妈常去旅行，爸爸呢，最好不要回来。这个家虽然不大，但只剩下我一个人，太没意思了。真的又想过要找辅导老师谈谈，但是，这样好吗？心情好烦。

WTF!

fever, flu, gastric, period...all came to me in one day?! insane! my antibody is totally OUT lately. last time, these kinda small matter wont beat me down, but today, i gotta surrender. lol. very sick now. i wish i can sleep now until forever. suffering in a serious insomnia these few nights. argh! problemssssssssssssss all around me, my mind and body. doesnt feels goood at all! any medicine for me? medicine to sleep until forever? suicide? zz.

我爱的人和曾经爱我的人

我爱的那个人，他，已不再爱我了。
他，曾经是那么的疼我，照顾我。
我一直是那么得深爱着他，但我却没有勇气留住他。
也许，他是唯一能让我落泪的人吧。
也许，他是唯一能让我感到，爱一个人的辛苦与幸福。
也许，我再也不会在遇到这样的一个人了。
我曾经为他流过许多眼泪，幸福的眼泪，痛苦的眼泪。。
为什么，人总是会变？
为什么，他变了？难道，我也在无形中，变了？
我爱的人，他已深深的，伤害了我。
我却依旧，喜欢着他。
离开他，并不是因为我恨。
而是因为，我累了。
不可能忘记他。
因为他，曾经是我生命中最重要的人。
我要他知道，我已经长大了。
我不会再为了爱，而伤害我自己。
这也是我对自己的承诺。

When Love Comes Around,

I currently addicted to a song, 'knock you down' by Keri Hilson.
I like it months ago. Listening to it now. Everyday indeed.
I likes the way its lyrics sounds. Thats what I want to express.
"I never thought be in love like this.
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip.
And you came in and knocked me on my face.
Feels like I'm in the race
But I already won first place.
I never thought I, fall for you as hard as I did.
You got me thinking about our life, our house and kids.
Every morning I look at you and smile.
Boy, you came around, and you knocked me down.
Sometimes love comes around, if it knocks you down.
Just get back up when it knocks you down."

Happy Mooncakes Festival, to me??

中秋节，没和最爱的人过， 真没意义。
昨晚和朋友到学校‘庆中秋’的说。
算了，我们只在哪儿看甜蜜。拜托！
真是的！到处都是双双对对，怎么搞的！
好啦好啦，我承认了，我吃醋！
人家刚刚失恋嘛。这也是难怪我会这样。
多么想飞到吉隆玻，找他庆祝。
天啊！！！！