C.R.Y.I.N.G

Do you ever cry when you listening to some emotional songs?
It feels so bad when those songs plays..
Cant help myself from droping my tears...
I already tried my best not to find him..
But this is killing me badly..
I miss him =(
Maybe I am wrong..
Maybe the message shouldn't be sent...
Suffering in the pain...my heart breaks...
I am sorry..
Sorry to you, darling..
Sorry to myself as well..
How do you do these days?
Why don't you online today?
Everythings ok there?
Sleep well these days?
Found someone to talk with before sleep?
Can I still be the one?
I already used to it..
Felt uneasy these nights...
Couldn't fall asleep without taking with you..
Would you still be with me when I need you?
Game over, I told myself eveytime I thinking about you..
But...Can I make it, to be continue?
Darling, where are you now?
I needed you badly now...
='(

Doesnt feels good at all.

Ended..i ends it..its me. Yes its true, lili does it. As everyone want me to. My friends said, its useless to tolerate with this kinda guy, I make them worry. I think about this for a week or maybe two weeks already, forgot. I think that, maybe I should go back to my friends, I need them more than a guy who doesn't know what is love. He came to my house today, it was my idea. I asked him to come, I really miss him alots, and I wanted to meet him for the last time? Hmm..not yet last time,not that serious. Meet him as my boy for the last time. I hugged him tightly, kissed him. I love him. TT. I sent him the message after he went back. He didn reply. Hmm. I tried not to be sad. But..its hard. But I didn drops my tears, friends! I felt guilty. So, you thought its easy to let go a guy that you loved very much? NO! My mood now is...dont know. Blank! Totally Blank! Cant even think right now. Does he mad at me? Am I doing the right thing? Argh!!!! Kai Long dear, I am sorry! Love you...

blur blur

feels so dizzy today, hmm..why izzit like that? am i sick? no way! i am going to bangkok next week, i dont want to miss my special holiday...bangkok man! shopping paradise! i want to go! i dont want to get sick..omg! omg! omg! dont want =(

errr...forget about it, nothing will happen on me..xD hmm, feels so sweet while talking with him on skype last night...we didn talked about any, what they call, 甜言蜜语..we never do..but, talking about future and daily life make our distance nearer..i like it when he talked about his dream, he become so energetic..thats what i love about him...although sometimes, what he said are too unrealistic..but he should talk more, he is getting cooler and cooler, its make me worry..

books checking is over, thanks god..yet, tons of homework are still waiting for me...i am lazy!!! i dont want to do homework!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! homeworksss, go away!!! stress betul!!!

i think i want to let go

last night, a whole night, i thinking of our relationships..hmm...you said you are emotional these days, i know that..and i try not to talk about unhappy things, i told gags..but you seems doesnt want to listen to me and trying to insult me..well, i know i am annoying these days, i kept finding you and talk about things you doesnt like..but i need you to know that, i dont want you to feels alone..i want to be there, but its impossible, you know that right??? dear, i miss you alot..it makes me feels lonely...you never did something to make me feels sweet, i know, i know this is your love style..i didn expect you to give me anything, i just want you to talk properly to me, be friendly to me..please..thinking of, to let go..but, its a hard decision for me..for you, its whatever..dont you feels sad or..guilty??? our relationship now is facing a serious problem...we doesnt talked much these days..your attitude is so bad, you make me affraid of to talk with you..be good dear..take good care of yourself, i worried about you all the time...and dear, i am your girlfriend, thats what a girlfriend should do..dont ask why anymore..

(how good if i got the guts to tells him this...he will never know how sad i am right now)

down!!!!

what happened to me? my hand is shivering..and  feels like want to punch someone's face...well, i want to punch him!!! that stupid crab!!! useless! never cares for me..hey! i am damn upset now!!! can you show a little concern for me?! f*cking bad mood!


i am hungry man! what can i have for my dinner??? maggi again?! no way! its boring to have maggi for meals everytime..what else can be eaten?!!! hmm...
aiks! dont want to eat anything already, damn lazy..nevermind, it is not the first time for me...used to it already..


everybody in this house are out for weekend party...me??? sleep at home, woke up, facebook, drink some HL milk, watch some ghost movies, read some stupid articles, watch some facts from the National Geography Channel..oh sucks! this kinda life is really sucks!!!!!! hey time, run faster, please!!

妈！

每天放学回到家。。
都需要鼓起很大的勇气来开门。。。
因为知道，所谓的家。。
虽然不大，但它是个空了的壳。。
常听同学们抱怨母亲煮的食物多么的难吃。。
心想，他们好幸福。。。
自从哥哥交了这位女朋友，
妈妈就很少下厨。。
几乎每一天的晚餐都是，经济饭！
常常乐观得想说，有的吃就好。。。
一天又一天。。还是会闷啊！
想想，我也很久没吃到妈妈煮的饭了，好怀念。。
家里空空荡荡的，好无聊。。。
每一次，难得想到很好的话题，想跟妈妈说。。
她都会跟我说，忙。。
或心不在焉的，根本没在听我说。。真扫兴！
多么想告诉她。。
妈，我有好多话想跟你说啊! 可以听我讲吗？
写着写着。。眼泪也跟着流了下来。。
好无奈。。

I love him

ok, admit it! i like him a lot..
i dont care what my friends said about him..
i just like him...
i like the way he talk to me..
i like the way he sing to me...
i like the way he look at me..
i like his everything...
maybe other girl may not accept the way he treat a girl..
but i still like it..
but still..there's some problem between both of us..
i dont know what is the problem...
i just dont like it..
hmm..i wonder what is in his mind...
he told me, maybe you should find someone new..
this is the third time he said that to me..
is that a clue for me? to leave?
no way! but...
i dont know...i just dont want that to happen again...
everything will be just fine, i wish..

waiting for his call...
he will call me, hope so..
why we became so cool?
what is the reason actually??
everytime i think about the question..
my tears dropped automatically..=(

what I have done..xD

I am really tired of doing those notes and homeworks..
fed up! really lazy for it..
I am going to chop down my hand, because it is painful as I start writing since 8pm until 3.30am...
I wonder why am I so lazy?
I dont even want to touch the book cover, affraid of doing homework...
somebody help me~